Portal to the Throat Chakra

August 2024

I wander along the shores of the river, it’s late in the afternoon.  I usually come here of a morning, early, when it’s quiet, before the sun rises and the world starts to stir.  The tide is low, making the walking easier today.

I pull the blue amazonite out of my pocket and rub it between my fingers. It’s smooth to the touch. It will be my centrepiece for my offering.
With the solitude and silence this place brings, it’s not long before I am immersed in my surroundings, gathering sticks, and shells which sometimes house the soldier crabs that live in this part of the river.  The flower buds, that look like stars, from the mangrove bushes, seem to be sparkling in the sunshine. I collect a few.
I start to create my mandala, my offering to this place, the land, the waters, that I love. A sense of calm comes over me and my eyes close.  Through the space the whistle of the osprey calls me.  Sometimes he glides above me, an unspoken connection between us, no words are needed.
I hear the song of the water as it laps the shore. A constant giving and receiving with the land, and all that lives within and around it.  Our energies begin to merge.  Our hearts seem to beat in a rhythm.  I feel her calm, gentleness, and hear her soft murmurings.  She beckons to me.
As I stand here before her, I notice her mouth where she has been releasing her gifts into the ocean - for many hours.  These waters are becoming still, motionless.  The tide will turn soon and she will start to receive back from the sea. I step into the water as I enter through her portal.
“If you listen in silence, you can hear me too. I am the voice inside of you. The voice that speaks to the world outside - giving, receiving, communicating, listening.
I am the words spoken and unspoken, the sounds and resonance, the vibration – sometimes heard, other times sensed, all is energy, all in motion.
Receiving messages through the silence, can you sense the subtle, the connections.  Communication that is carried between all, seen and unseen.
I am the channel that carries your voice from the deepest part of you, move with me now as we journey to your inner spring.” 
Venturing deeper and deeper into the land, we swim the main tributary.  After some time, the mountains begin to rise in front of us.  We move through the rapids, over the rocks and boulders that are smoothed out from years of the rivers’ flow.  The waters begin to narrow into soft flowing streams, deeper we go till we find the spring. 
The source, it is sacred, untouched, untainted, flowing in its natural state. Revealing its true essence.
I lay here in these waters like a newborn babe lays in her mother's arms.  Feeling her essence connect with mine. Just being in this space brings me much peace inside.
“Your voice begun as sounds not words, to express what you needed”. She says
I coo and giggle and squeal in delight as I play in these sacred waters of mine.   Then I see myself crying, wailing and roaring for attention.  The vibrations of emotion, demanding expression.
At times I feel blocked somewhere between the spring and the mouth.  Aching and aching for the words to come out.  So I decide to track a blockage to find the source of where it changes.
“Your voices have been carved, curated, and manipulated, at times silenced by fear by those of influence or power – unconscious and conscious.  What truly comes from your spring and what does not?  Feelings like shame can be imprisoned inside, waiting for a time to feel safe enough to be freed, to be witnessed by another.”
I want to release the wails, the cries, the feelings that are buried deep inside.  Also the joy, the grief, the emotions I reject, to free them, so I can be free to sing my own song out in the world. 
“Call your voices back from past, and from times forward.  Let them come here together to meet like the waters.  Let the fresh flow over saltwater, let the salt bind with sediment. Until they settle to the bottom bringing you balance inside.  This place will always be a boundary, a protection to keep your true essence intact, inside.  But share you must, this essence this vibration that’s yours, you are but one note in a chord of a magnificent piece of music, that need each other to make up the whole.”   
I remove the silt that has built up through the years, and watch the flow return, the voices that have been trapped, can now be released.  There’s still work to be done but that is enough for one day.
I swim back to the shore as the sun makes its descent.  The corellas will be here soon, to gather together, to feast and to chatter. Their voices will rise in an excruciating shrill, yet they will eventually settle as they harmonise.
The shags in their 100s begin their journey inland, as do the ducks and the ibis, their home calling them back.  I hear the voice and the rhythm of the trees, as they sway and move together in the breeze.  Communing together with all that surrounds - breathing in, breathing out, reaching in, reaching out.
As I kneel here and complete my mandala I watch the river receive the waters from the ocean, I know soon it will take my offering with the incoming tide.  My blessings of love will merge within, with all its gifts and be sung from the river out to the sea.