Portal into Pain

 I hear her recite some words from Kahil Gibran
“your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding”

Those words bring the vision from last night into my awareness
A crack in the shell surrounding my pain was revealing a light
I stood there pulling away parts of the shell
I peered through the hole, the vision began expanding.

Then I hear another say “words can be portals too”

I see an opening in this word that I can fit through.....

I slip through the opening, straight into a maze,
It’s overgrown and narrow, and covered in a haze
I trust and move through the paths till I find my way out
To be met by a wrinkled old woman, so short and stout

She beckons me forward with a smile I can trust

Come closer and listen to what you must,
I hear you’ve come to find out about pain my dear
Let me tell you about this thing that many do fear

Pain is the key that hides what we do not want to speak of,
We can see it in the eyes of someone we love
A mirror of something we do not want to own
But we must search for the pain deep in our bones

Just as the plastic mass gathers together in our seas, giving the ocean a voice
So too is pain giving voice to those feelings hidden unconsciously or by choice
Welcome it in to crack that shell that encircles you
Listen to it in the silence and hear what comes through,

Then be willing to travel the depths it is requiring
To do some releasing and begin rewiring.

She guides me to a door and hands me the key
Travel through here, let Pain set you free

I knock on the door and turn the key,
Pain is there to welcome me...

Come in, come in, explore me some more
I am here to break down the stories you store,

 Those that you live with, each and every day,
Those stories that need to be untangled, unfurled in some way
To be rewoven again into something more authentic, more true,
Rather than cast into some deep dark place in you

I will need to get your attention if you do not look at me
I am here to give a voice to that which you do not want to see,
I want you to own my voice as a part of you
I am here to expand you, for you to learn to be true

I want you to listen intently at what is buried deep inside
What do you turn away from, what do you want to hide
Do not dampen or silence my voice with drugs or desires
Welcome me, travel into me, what transpires might surprise

So I allow the silence to bring me what pain has to say

Images, memories, stories I’ve held close,
Looping, never-ending, chronic and painfilled
The shell cracks deeper and opens me right up
And then arrive the tears that with pain often comes
Released, I am empty, untangled and raw
Renewed, unwoven, my heart ready to fill once more
I hold Pains hand and I hug her tight
I promise always to bring her to the light
I will welcome her gifts instead of turning away
Knowing it will lead me back to love again one day.

Gabrielle,  August 2024 x